A simple way to do unschooling: deschooling the adult brain

A simple way to do unschooling: deschooling the adult brain

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When we start the path of unschooling, it is almost always through our children; for a long time, we think this is for them. The reality is that our children are just the excuse to be able to unschooled ourselves.

Unschooling the adult brain is an idea that comes to mind abstractly. It is an intuition and a feeling that we do not say out loud since we do not know how “correct” that phrase is. This feeling is the first indication that you started your journey to freedom.

Unschooling as a Philosophy of Life

It is typical to feel embarrassed by the idea of ​​taking the reins of family education since part of our schooling starts from being ashamed of being free and feeling special and unique. Just thinking about it would be ridiculous and even selfish if we were to feel it. If you thought this way or are feeling this way, I hug you, and today we will take one more step toward that feeling.

Our children have spent less time in school, and in some cases, they have not been in school, so they are not the ones who have to adapt to their new life. They have to adjust to you, the schooled adult, to adjust to their new life.

This article is written so that you can embrace your adaptation as an adult towards unschooling, give yourself permission to go through your process as long as you need it, and not bring your children into your process.

Once we understand that unschooling is not an educational method, but a family lifestyle, you will see how everything flows at home and have the calm and freedom you were looking for when the idea first entered your brain. It takes time and is uphill after a year or so of trying. It is normal. Furthermore, it is part of the process.

Desescolarizando el cerebro adulto 2

Unschooling the adult brain

The first thing to know is how the brain learns. It does through external incentives, whatever they may be, and it also has such plasticity that it can adapt to any new motivation, which allows us to learn and unlearn with or without awareness of it.

The neurons receive the information, make it travel through the synapse, and if this same stimulus is repeated several times, then memories are forged.

Memories are not always forged by repetition. The brain needs to be excited to learn, and a strong emotional experience, whether pleasant or not, can fix specific learning in our brain just by feeling it once. Both schooling and unschooling provide and are enriched by this same process.

Unschooling stages

It does not matter if we start unschooling in our children’s adolescence or when they are two years old; our unschooling process is usually activated in the same order.

Throughout our school life, they have imbued us with different levels of fears and requirements to meet according to the stage we live in the school. We will transmit these fears to our children without the need to place them out loud but transform them into exacerbated security and protection.

For this first stage, which is ours… as adults, we will continuously scan our fears. Why continuously? Because the vast majority of our worries linked to school are unconscious and only surface when an action activates them; then there will be many, many fears that you will not be able to work on by only sitting in the living room of your house and with a coffee contemplating the horizon; it is more likely you will do it at the moment in which you interact with other people, mainly with your children.

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The two levels of guilt and the limits

To start unlearning, learning, and relearning to forge our new lifestyle, we must be aware of our beliefs and how they govern us. To eliminate the guilt that unconsciously seeds fear in us.

To do this continuously, we have to realize that we took our children out of the educational system because several things did not resonate with us, and one of them is how far the system is from the personal reality of its students. 

A reality not seen in the educational system is that adults have feelings, emotions and that we are not perfect. In fact, for the traditional educational method, showing our feelings and doubts in front of our children symbolizes weakness. The way to do this exercise is by showing our children that we are exploring this path with as many uncertainties as they are and that sometimes we can feel overwhelmed and do not understand why. 

In this exercise, we are going to investigate two levels of guilt through these three questions: 

  • Do I do it because they are my fears?
  • Do I do it because I am repeating patterns?
  • Do I do it because I set limits?

It is continuous, and although simple, it can be challenging to apply. With practice, it will come automatically.

Exercise to Unschool the Schooled Adult Brain

There are plenty of opportunities to put the exercise into practice. Whenever we feel the need to scold, punish, force, or guide our children without taking a moment of introspection about whether they need to be taught, it is the right time to start the exercise. 

We have been told that we must act immediately; otherwise, the purpose of the correction is not understood. This is half true; if no explanation precedes the action, the child will not see the connection. Today, you will learn how to create that connection. This is all you need to do this exercise organically.

A characteristic example of the perfect moment to start the exercise is the following:

You go to the park, your kid goes up on the opposite side the game was designed for, and he is doing it in a hazardous way.

The first natural reaction of a schooled brain is to yell for him to get off and call him to tell him never to do that again, that it is very dangerous. A list of possible scenarios invites him to reflect so he never does it again. Does it sound familiar to you?

I invite you to do it differently, do not feel bad if you only think about it the first time (or first times) and do what I stated before. It is a process. Be nice to you. What I invite you to do is the following:

You call your child’s attention, maybe by shouting, maybe not. Trust the process, as it comes out instinctively. When he gets to you, explain to him that this makes you very nervous, that you haven’t been able to figure out how it makes you feel, and that if he can do his best not to play like that for today. Later, when you know how it made you feel, you explain it to him. 

It is feasible that he will do it again after 15-20 minutes. You simply remind him of what you talked about. Children are very open and compassionate; it’s just that they still place their desires above other things, and their memory fails them in those cases. They don’t do it on purpose; that’s how human beings develop, don’t take it personally.

Desescolarizando el cerebro adulto 4 / deschooling the adult brain

In a reflective moment, that you don’t have to be in their care, either when bathing or before going to bed or waking up, ask yourself why you don’t want your child to use the game like this:

Do I react like this because it is my fear?

Try to visualize how your son maneuvers his body at home and how aware he is of his motor skills.

If at home he never does anything physical and you don’t know how he handles his body, or you have seen him being an enthusiast, but he always ends up falling, then your fear is for his safety and not for transference. You can go to the next question.

Now, if when you visualize your son, you realize that he is the miniature version of spider-man and that he is fully aware of his body and the rest of the objects; then the fear is yours, and you are adding to his backpack beliefs (who already has his fears and will have other worries as he lives) that are not his and that has nothing to do with his capabilities. In this case, you don’t need to continue investigating and talk to your son; tell him what you felt, and the conversation will be different, it will be about safety, about preparing before climbing a new object, and not about an a priori prohibition of an innate ability.

Do I react like this because I repeat patterns?

If you proceed to the second question, try to visualize yourself, your role as a mother/father, and what is expected of your position. Is this your way to protect your child unconditionally and no matter what? We can answer it quickly with these two options: 1) That unconditionally includes his personal decisions. 2) Or, on the contrary, you know you are there to accompany him.

Travel back to your childhood and remember a similar situation, whether as a child, adolescent, or adult, where you wanted to try something new and were forbidden because your parents did not see your ability to solve this new challenge together. 

If you found that episode and it struck a chord within you, first allow yourself that moment to internalize the discovery because deschooling the adult brain moves many internal processes that were very comfortable resting in our psyche. Another way to know if you are about to encounter the episode and you are not yet ready to face it is that you will respond in your mind with “because it was always done that way,” “because it should be,” or “because there is no other way to do it.”

If so, you do not need to skip to the next question. Once you are calm with your process, call your son to talk about why he decided to get on like this, if he saw it from someone else, if he wants to try lower and go up, if he felt good doing it, or if when he attempted to it, he realized that it was not his thing or if he wants to try again with supervision to see how it goes. Let your child decide to do or not do an activity anymore.

If you didn’t find that episode, or if you found it and it gave you a lot of strength, and you feel good about that episode, go to the next question. 

Do I react like this because I set limits?

If your child has never shown the ability to climb anything and there is no “should be” or “because it was always done that way” in your reaction, it is because you know when to set limits. Now we will work on how to set them. 

Call your son and tell him that even if he wants to try new things, he always has to be prepared when he increases the difficulty of things. That he has your 100% support and that you want to be present and warned every time he tries something new, so you can assist him and be present as his security and support team. If it is his passion, he will do it with more and more skill; perhaps at home, he has yet to have the opportunity to try this type of activity. And if he is uninterested, he will leave him and have better self-awareness.

Desescolarizando el cerebro adulto / deschooling the adult brain

Final Recommendations

Added to this is not pushing our children when we know they have an innate ability. We only sometimes want to eat our favorite dish every day. There are times of exploration that are as rich and vital as having discipline. 

You always have to ask about the cause of their decisions and not force them at once or the opposite, to let them resign just by asking. Always call to feel and raise awareness of what drives us.

If it is your passion, he will return to it. If not, it is a tool to face the next activity. It is never wasted time when freedom is respected.

Once you begin to face this exercise with each situation (or almost with each case), there will come a time when you will not stop to ask yourself the questions, and you will directly know what it is about, and you will be able to act at the moment. It takes time: it’s very satisfying and healing once you get it.

Other stages of unschooling have to do with the adult brain. We will publish them. Check out the newsletters if you are part of WRA, or visit us regularly to discover new content if you are not enrolled yet. Remember to clear doubts before signing up with a free 15-minute call.

Manera sencilla de desescolarizar: desescolarizando el cerebro adulto

Manera sencilla de desescolarizar: desescolarizando el cerebro adulto

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Cuando iniciamos el camino de la desescolarización, casi siempre es a través de nuestros hijos y por mucho tiempo, pensamos que esto es para ellos. La realidad es que nuestros hijos son solo la excusa para poder desescolarizarnos nosotros.

Desescolarizando el cerebro adulto es una idea que nos viene de manera abstracta a la mente, es una intuición y un sentir que no decimos en voz alta, ya que no sabemos que tan “correcta” es esa frase. Este sentimiento es el primer indicativo que inició nuestro viaje hacia la libertad.

El Unschooling como filosofía de vida

Es muy normal el sentirnos avergonzados por la idea de tomar las riendas de la educación familiar, puesto que parte de nuestra escolarización parte del tener vergüenza de ser libres, de sentirnos especiales, únicos, y si llegáramos a sentirlo es de una manera ridícula y hasta egoísta de solo pensarlo. Si te sentiste así o te estás sintiendo así, te abrazo y hoy daremos un paso más hacia ese sentimiento.

Nuestros hijos han estado menos tiempo escolarizados y en algunos casos no han estado escolarizados, así que ellos no son los que tienen que adaptarse a su nueva vida. Ellos tienen que adaptarse a ti, el adulto escolarizado, a adaptarse a su nueva vida.

Este artículo está escrito para que puedas abrazar tu adaptación como adulto hacia la desescolarización, te des permiso para transitar tu proceso el tiempo que lo necesites y no traigas a tu proceso a tus hijos.

Una vez que entendemos esto, que el unschooling o desescolarización no es un método educativo, sino un estilo de vida familiar, ya verás como todo fluye en casa y tendrás la calma y libertad que buscabas cuando se posó en tu cerebro la idea por primera vez y que ahora, luego de un año intentándolo, se hace cuesta arriba. Es normal. Es parte del proceso.

Desescolarizando el cerebro adulto 2

Desescolarizando el cerebro adulto

Lo primero a conocer es cómo aprende el cerebro, este lo hace por medio de estímulos externos, sean los que sean y que además este posee tal plasticidad que puede adaptarse a cualquier nuevo estímulo, lo que nos permite aprender y desaprender con o sin consciencia de ello.

Las neuronas reciben la información, la hacen viajar por medio de la sinapsis y si este mismo estímulo se repite varias veces, entonces se forjan los recuerdos.

No siempre los recuerdos se forjan con repetición, ya que el cerebro necesita emocionarse para aprender y con una experiencia emocional fuerte, sea agradable o no, esta puede quedar fija ciertos aprendizajes en nuestro cerebro, con solo sentirlos una vez. Tanto la escolarización, como la desescolarización brindan y se enriquecen de este mismo proceso.

Etapas de la desescolarización

No importa si empezamos a desescolarizar en la adolescencia de nuestros hijos o desde que tienen 2 años de vida, nuestro proceso de desescolarización suele activarse en el mismo orden.

A lo largo de nuestra vida escolarizada, nos han inculcado distintos niveles de miedos y requisitos a cumplir según la etapa que vivimos en la escuela. Estos miedos los vamos a ir transmitiendo a nuestros hijos sin necesidad de colocarlos en voz alta, sino transformados en una exacerbada seguridad y protección.

Para esta primera etapa, que es nuestra… de los adultos, vamos a hacer un escaneo en vivo y continuo de nuestros miedos. ¿Por qué vivo?, porque la gran mayoría de nuestros miedos vinculados a la escuela son inconscientes y solo salen a flote cuando estos son activados por una acción; entonces habrá muchos, muchísimos temores que no podrás trabajar a priori en la sala de tu casa y con una taza de café contemplando el horizonte, sino en el momento en que interactúes con otras personas, mayormente con tus hijos.

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Los dos niveles de culpa y los límites

Para empezar a desaprender, aprender y re-aprender, es decir, para forjar nuestro nuevo estilo de vida, tenemos que ser conscientes de nuestras creencias y cómo estas nos rigen. Básicamente, a irnos deslastrando de las culpas que inconscientemente nos inculcan miedo.

Para ir haciendo esto de manera continua, tenemos que darnos cuenta de que sacamos a nuestros hijos del sistema educativo porque varias cosas no nos resonaban y una de ellas es lo distanciado que está el sistema de la realidad individual de sus alumnos. 

Una realidad que no se ve en el sistema educativo es que los adultos tenemos sentimientos, emociones y que no somos perfectos. De hecho, para el sistema educativo tradicional, el mostrar nuestras emociones y dudas frente a nuestros hijos es símbolo de debilidad. La manera de hacer este ejercicio, es justamente mostrándole a nuestros hijos que nosotros estamos explorando este camino con tantas o más incertidumbres que ellos y que a veces podemos sentirnos sobrepasados y no entendemos por qué. 

En este ejercicio vamos a indagar sobre dos niveles de culpa por medio de estas tres preguntas: 

  • ¿Lo hago porque es mi miedo?
  • ¿Lo hago porque repito patrones?
  • ¿Lo hago porque coloco límites?

Es continuo y aunque es simple, no siempre es sencillo de aplicar. Con la práctica saldrá de manera automática.

Ejercicio para Desescolarizarnos el Cerebro Adulto Escolarizado

Sobran las oportunidades para poner en práctica el ejercicio, ya que cada vez que sintamos la necesidad de regañar, castigar, obligar o guiar a nuestros hijos, sin tomarnos un momento de introspección sobre si realmente necesitan ser guiados o guiadas. Aquí es que entran los tres niveles. 

Nos han dicho que tenemos que actuar de inmediato, si no no se entiende el propósito de la corrección. Esto es cierto a medias, si no hay una explicación que preceda la acción, el niño no verá la conexión, Hoy aprenderás a mostrar tus emociones para crear esa conexión, esto es todo lo que necesitas para hacer este ejercicio de manera orgánica.

Un ejemplo característico de momento perfecto para iniciar el ejercicio es el siguiente:

Van al parque, tu hijo sube por el lado contrario del que estuvo diseñado el juego y además lo está haciendo de una manera muy peligrosa.

La primera reacción natural de un cerebro escolarizado es el gritar que se baje y llamarlo para decirle que nunca más haga eso, que es muy peligroso y se empieza a enumerar una lista de posibles escenarios para invitarle a la reflexión para que no lo haga nunca más. ¿Te suena familiar?

Te invito a hacerlo distinto, no te sientas mal si la primera vez (o primeras veces) solo lo piensas y vuelves a hacer lo que enuncié antes, es un proceso. Sé amable contigo. Lo que te invito a hacer es lo siguiente:

Llamas la atención de tu hijo, capaz gritando, capaz no, confía en el proceso, como te salga instintivo. Cuando llegue a ti, le explicas que eso te pone muy nervioso, que realmente no has logrado saber qué te hace sentir y que si por este día hace lo posible por no jugar así y que más tarde, cuando hayas sabido lo que te hizo sentir, se lo explicas. 

Es factible que a los 15-20 minutos lo vuelva a hacer, simplemente le recuerdas lo que hablaron. Los niños son muy abiertos y compasivos, solo que aún colocan sus deseos por encima de otras cosas y les falla la memoria en esos casos, no lo hacen a propósito, así nos vamos desarrollando los seres humanos, no te lo tomes personal.

Desescolarizando el cerebro adulto 4 / deschooling the adult brain

En un momento introspectivo, que no tengas que estar a su cuidado, ya sea al bañarte o antes de acostarte o al despertar, pregúntate por qué no deseas que tu hijo utilice así el juego:

¿Reacciono así porque es mi miedo?

Intenta visualizar las veces que tu hijo hace en casa maniobras con su cuerpo y lo consciente que es de su motricidad.

Si en casa nunca hace nada físico y no sabes como maneja su cuerpo o lo has visto siendo un entusiasta, pero siempre termina cayendo, entonces tu miedo es por su seguridad y no por transferencia. Puedes pasar a la siguiente pregunta.

Ahora, si al visualizar a tu hijo, te das cuenta de que es la versión en pequeño del hombre araña y que tiene total consciencia de su cuerpo y del resto de los objetos; entonces el miedo es tuyo y le estás agregando a su mochila (que ya tiene sus propios miedos y que tendrá otros miedos conforme vaya viviendo) creencias que no son suyas y que no tienen nada que ver con sus capacidades. En este caso, no necesitas seguir indagando y hablas con tu hijo, le cuentas lo que sentiste y ya la conversación será distinta, será sobre seguridad, sobre el prepararse antes de escalar un objeto nuevo y no de una prohibición a priori de una habilidad innata.

¿Reacciono así porque repito patrones?

Si pasaste a la segunda pregunta, intenta visualizarte y el rol que tienes de madre/padre y qué es lo que se espera de tu rol. ¿Es tu patrón el proteger a tu hijo incondicionalmente y sin importar qué?, ese incondicional incluye sus decisiones personales. O, por el contrario, sabes que estás allí para acompañarlo.

Viaja hacia tu propia infancia y recuerda una situación similar, sea de niño, adolescente o adulto, donde tú querías intentar algo nuevo y se te prohibió porque tus padres no vieron tus aptitudes para resolver ese nuevo desafío juntos. 

Si encontraste ese episodio y te tocó alguna fibra, primero permítete ese momento para internalizar el hallazgo, porque el desescolarizar el cerebro adulto mueve muchos procesos internos que estaban muy cómodamente reposados en nuestra psique. Otra manera de saber si estás a punto de encontrar el episodio y aún no estás preparado para enfrentarlo, es que responderás en tu mente con un “porque siempre se hizo así”, “porque es el deber ser”, “porque no hay otra manera de hacerlo”.

Si este es el caso, no necesitas pasar a la siguiente pregunta. Una vez que estés en calma con tu proceso, llama a tu hijo para tener una charla sobre el porqué de decidir subirse así, si lo vio de alguien más, si desea probar más bajito e ir subiendo; si realmente se sintió bien haciéndolo o si al probar se dio cuenta de que no era lo suyo o si quiere probar de nuevo con supervisión a ver que tal. Que sea tu hijo el que tome la decisión de hacer o no hacer más una actividad.

Si no encontraste ese episodio o si lo encontraste y este te dio mucha fortaleza y te sientes bien con ese episodio, pasa a la siguiente pregunta. 

¿Reacciono así porque coloco límites?

Si tu hijo nunca mostró aptitudes para subirse en nada y no hay un “deber ser” o “porque siempre se hizo así” en tu reacción, es porque sabes cuándo colocar límites, ahora trabajaremos en cómo colocarlos. 

Llama a tu hijo y cuéntale que aunque tenga deseos de probar cosas nuevas, siempre hay que prepararse cuando aumentamos la dificultad de las cosas. Que cuenta con tu respaldo al 100% y que tú deseas estar presente y avisada cada vez que intente algo nuevo, así, puedes asistirlo y estar presente como su equipo de seguridad y respaldo. Si es su pasión irá haciéndolo cada vez con más pericia, capaz en casa nunca tuvo oportunidad de probar este tipo de actividades. Y si no le interesa, lo dejará y tendrá un mejor autoconocimiento.

Desescolarizando el cerebro adulto / deschooling the adult brain

Recomendaciones Finales

A esto se le agrega el no empujar a nuestros hijos cuando sabemos que tienen una habilidad innata. No siempre queremos comer todos los días nuestro plato favorito, hay épocas de exploración y son tan ricas e importantes como tener disciplina. 

Siempre hay que preguntar la causa de sus decisiones y no obligar de una vez y tampoco lo contrario, dejarlos renunciar solo con pedirlo. Siempre llamar al sentir y concientizar qué nos impulsa.

Si es su pasión, volverá a ella, si no, es una herramienta para encarar la siguiente pasión. Nunca es tiempo perdido, cuando la libertad es respetada.

Una vez empieces a encarar este ejercicio con cada situación (o casi con cada situación), llegará un momento que no te pararás a hacerte las preguntas y sabrás directamente de qué se trata y podrás actuar en el momento. Toma tiempo: es muy satisfactorio y sanador una vez que lo consigues.

Existen otras etapas dentro de la desescolarización que tienen que ver con el cerebro adulto, las iremos publicando. No te pierdas los newsletters si eres parte de la WRA o visítanos regularmente para descubrir contenido nuevo si aún no estás inscrito. Recuerda que te puedes sacar todas las dudas antes de inscribirte con una llamada de 15 minutos gratuita.

Homeschooling Global Summit 2020

Homeschooling Global Summit 2020

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An influx of questions has flooded the internet in recent months regarding homeschooling and we are thrilled to address an array of topics in this virtual event called the Homeschooling Global Summit!

There will be ten days of expert interviews, from the likes of Sir Ken Robinson, Pat Farenga, Peggy Webb, Lainie Liberti, Melissa Church and many more! With hundreds of millions of kids around the world learning at home for the first time ever due to Coronavirus, this knowledge is needed by parents more than ever.

We will be interviewing some of our currently enrolled families, as well as West River Academy graduates. Learn how self-directed learning can be an advantage to navigating this rapidly-changing world.

Event Calendar:

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As this is the second annual event, anyone who is interested in watching the 40+ hours of footage from the 2019 Homeschooling Global Summit is now able to do so for free!

Visit https://hgsummit.com/ to get your FREE premium pass.

We are so grateful to all of our families and graduates who are participating in this event with us this year. We hope you register for it and share it with your loved ones!
~ The West River Academy Team

WRA Graduate Shares an Update

WRA Graduate Shares an Update

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I graduated from West River Academy in 2013. Since then, I have completed a Bachelors and Masters degree in Applied Mathematics at the University of Colorado at Boulder and will be pursuing a Doctorate in Computational and Applied Mathematics at the University of Texas at Austin in the fall. Additionally, I received an NSF Graduate Research Fellowship to support my graduate education. I believe that my nontraditional pre-college education as a homeschooler with West River Academy was significant in the formation of several skills that have served me well since graduation.

Much of the academic success I have encountered is due to self-motivated, curiosity-driven learning. I had the good fortune to be heavily involved in undergraduate research in Geophysical Fluid Dynamics, primarily Oceanography, during my time at CU Boulder. The process of research, with its lack of a higher authority to reveal the correct answer, is very much akin to the free-form style of my education before college. Therefore, I recommend this educational style without any reservations. More than anything else, my pre-college education as a homeschooler helped me to develop a love of learning and an intrinsic locus of motivation.

~ William, Class of 2013

From Fishing to Mechanical Engineering: Johnathan’s story

From Fishing to Mechanical Engineering: Johnathan’s story

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This essay was written by a high school senior who was homeschooled since 3rd grade. His homeschool journey included participating in homeschool co-ops, 4H, and hunting and fishing. He now aspires to attend a University to major in Mechanical Engineering. Here are excerpts from his essay.

My name is Johnathan Clemmer; I was born on November 21, 1998, in Prescott, Arizona, where we lived until I was two. In 2000 we moved to Collbran, Colorado to be closer to my maternal grandparents. They owned a sizeable ranch at the base of the Grand Mesa that had hiking trails, fishing ponds, guest cabins, and numerous places for a young boy to play and grow. I would have to say that this place was a significant part of my educational beginning as I learned to hunt, fish, ride, explore, and work along with the ranch hands on a daily basis. I remember how beautiful it was; you could see everything for miles around, breathe the fresh mountain air, and roam and investigate the world around you. One of the most extraordinary memories I have of the ranch are the fall colors and how wonderfully the yellow leaves glimmered in the sunlight, not to mention that a typical fall day usually included a cup of coffee and cookies in the afternoon with my Papa. My grandparents sold the original Ranch for a smaller version, and our family moved into the home where we lived until our transition to Grand Junction three years ago. I have many fond memories of Collbran, all the experiences we had there as a family, and the friendships that have remained with me through the years.

Clemmer fishing at sunset 300x169My Papa was the person who taught me many of the things that I enjoy most: fly fishing (even the ability to clean and cook the fish once caught – he had the ponds at his ranch stocked with fish each year so that we would always have a place to spend time together), how to hunt (be safe with guns, shoot them, take care of them, and on adventures to places like the One Shot Antelope Hunt in Lander, WY where we were able to meet Governors, astronauts, artists, and many other amazing and inspiriting friends of his), and a passion for reading. I believe our many trips and adventures were a magical part of my education as it taught me numerous life skills, as well as experience in real world travel and exploration. He passed away several years ago, I miss him terribly and wish that he were still here to see all that I have become and accomplished. Though I miss Collbran, our move to Grand Junction has benefited me greatly in my schooling with the option of having co-op classes and career options more readily available

My educational journey began in the traditional sense at Plateau Valley School in Collbran, the area’s K-12 facility. I attended PVS from pre-school through the 3rd grade. I enjoyed my time in public school, had many friends, and enjoyed the process of public education, especially recess and lunch break! Having issues with the school and the educational opportunities it did or did not provide; my parents decided to homeschool my older brother after his 5th-grade year (my 2nd-grade year). My family realized after that initial year that they preferred homeschooling and the opportunities it provided and decided to homeschool me as well. I was hesitant and slightly resentful when first introduced to the idea. I was comfortable where I was, and all of my friends currently attended the public school. After the first year of homeschooling, I realized that it was tremendously preferable to public school. I had not realized how many other kids in our area homeschooled as well; we even got together for co-op classes once a week where we would create art projects, sing, take dance lessons, and spend time with other like-minded families. Our daily school routine included not only core curriculum classes, but time cooking, playing educational games, PE, and creative activities not available in the public system. My preliminary doubts regarding homeschooling were quickly dispelled, and I grew to have an appreciation for the challenges and joys it presented every day.

Once I reached middle school, (seventh grade – current), our family began participating in a local homeschool co-op in Grand Junction, which was 45 minutes from our house in Collbran. The drive may seem long to some, but for our family it was a time of conversation, expression, and enjoyment. Our journeys to school ended up being a day long adventure as after classes we would get groceries, spend time at the park or a museum, and typically get dinner or take-out on the way home (don’t judge me but my favorite combination was a container of sushi and a maple glazed donut). This was a juncture in my life that would significantly impact my future. I made connections with many of the friends and teachers that have been with me over the years and hopefully will be for many years to come. The courses offered were intriguing to me as well, helping to guide and encourage me in the directions I excelled and provided support in the areas where I struggled. Homeschooling and the opportunities it had provided up to this point helped to define the path and direction of my future education.

Typically, I would pursue the core curriculum courses at home while the co-op classes offered variety in the form of courses that were best in group situations. One of my favorites was the art classes I took with a teacher named Mr. Sonmor. His style, humor, quirkiness, and talent made art exciting, and though it was not a subject where I could envision a future for myself, the time spent in graphic design, filmmaking, and 3D design were some of the most enjoyable moment in early high school education. Civics and Speech were potentially not my strong suit, presenting challenges that I had not previously encountered, most specifically public speaking, but inspired me to put forth my best effort and work diligently to achieve the A’s that had previously come so easily for me. I am thankful to the teachers and parents who organized this co-op for the betterment of the homeschool community, and also for the chance to take several courses with my older brother (where in a traditional school environment our separation of 3 grades would have prohibited this) where we were able to assist and collaborate on several projects. His insight and help were greatly appreciated, and I feel that it strengthened our bond as brothers and friends.

leather clemmer 300x225During my early education, I also had the occasion to participate in 4H as well as being a counselor at the local church camp on the Grand Mesa. Since we lived in a town where agriculture was the majority of income for most families, we had a local FFA and a 4H club. I thoroughly enjoyed my time participating in the leather craft area of 4H. My leader was a local woman who was as brilliant at leathercraft as she was kind. I am thankful for the time and commitment she put forth, and how she inspired me to greatness (after several years and a culmination of projects, I won Mesa County Grand Champion and Reserve State Grand Champion for a tissue box cover with a wildlife scene inspired by the area in which we lived. My time as a participant and counselor at the church camp impacted my world in a remarkable way and ran the course of six years. It was an event to which I looked forward with tremendous anticipation each year, progressing from a camper to a junior counselor for elementary school, to a counselor for middle schoolers. I would spend hours making preparations, marking verses to be memorized, planning activities, and making sure things ran smoothly so the camp experience for those that I was counseling would be as moving and life changing as it was for me. These summers were some of my favorite times, making me feel like I was doing something with a purpose when I was teaching all the younger kids about God.

As it has been since the beginning of my homeschooling, I still typically take the majority of my core courses at home (we have been utilizing A Beka curriculum for many years and over the past few years have used the online academy as well) while taking more challenging subjects such as higher level math through the local co-op. I have taken an English credit each year and hope that with the foundational knowledge these courses have provided, will be able to test out of the lower level English requirements once I begin college. One of my favorite subjects has been history, and I have taken US History, World History, Colorado History, and Government thus far. I find great benefit in learning the foundation of our country and government and hope that it provides me with sound judgment in my path that hopefully too will be documented in history. I am currently in my fourth year of Science curriculum as well, having taken Biology (which made me realize without any doubt that I do not want to be a biologist!), Physical Science, Chemistry, and presently Physics (which is the most fascinating subject to me to date). Math is by far the subject where I derive the most enjoyment and personal satisfaction. I feel it is the area where I exhibit the most strength, knowledge, and capability. From Algebra I to Geometry, Algebra II to Pre-calculus, I have had the same and most magnificent teacher (other than my mother, because she is reading this), Mrs. Sibl. She has encouraged and challenged me, her style of teaching has made these past four years entertaining and educational. My passion for this line of instruction has influenced my goals for the future, determining that a STEM related field should be the direction for my future. One of the programs of study that I was able to pursue this year were courses in CAD (computer aided design) and MATLAB (computer programming) that I believe will be of great benefit to me once I begin college. The elective courses I have taken including physical education (of which skiing and golf were my favorite portions), multiple years of Spanish, life skills, health, religious studies, etc., have rounded out my educational experience. In addition to taking regular classes, I was very humbled by the experience of job-hunting. After many months of seeking employment, I was rewarded for my perseverance, being awarded a job that I love, working at the golf course near our home. I have made many friends here as well as learning life skills and work ethics.

Clemmer Golf 300x153Progressing through school, taking more intellectually challenging math and science classes and realizing my strength in those areas, I have begun to discern the path I desire for my future. My adeptness at problem solving, calculations, scientific analyzation, and the capacity to understand the working mechanisms of machines has led me to the conclusion that I aspire to become a Mechanical Engineer. I am in the process of applying to several universities in Colorado including Colorado Mesa University, Colorado School of Mines (which is the third highest ranked petroleum engineering school in the United States), and Colorado University Boulder. My goals for high education are to receive a bachelor’s degree in Mechanical Engineering degree, while also acquiring a minor in Physics.

Life-learning While Being an “au-pair” in Australia

Life-learning While Being an “au-pair” in Australia

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This blog post features a student who is doing an “au-pair” program in Australia, where she is assisting a home-schooling family with their children in exchange for room and board. Her report illustrates how she weaves online courses, literature, botany and traveling together for extraordinary educational experiences. The pictures are the ones she took of the Blue Mountains in Australia.

This month I started and completed another course called “Biology meets programming: Bioinformatics for beginners”. It was on applying computer programming to analyse DNA and try and figure out various things such as where the replication point is located. It was a really tough course as I haven’t done much biology and have never tried computer programming before. I did ok on the quizzes however the interactive components of the textbook left me very confused as they required a lot of programming and I had trouble understanding how the functions operated and how to create my own. I also didn’t have much time during the week to do the work, and was a little behind from the start. In the end I had to let go of the hope to do well on the course and decided just to try my best to understand what I could. I did learn some interesting things about how the DNA replicates in a certain direction and how certain algorithms work. I found randomized algorithms to be quite interesting even though I didn’t fully understand how they function. Due to the program I ended up making an account for python and doing many of the exercises they offer. Programing is definitely interesting, I think I just need more practice memorizing the language used. I find I have a little difficulty when it comes to understanding more abstract ideas in math, which is a skill I hope to work on.

I also started to read a German book called Drachenreiter, which means Dragonrider. It has an English translation that I read many years ago but as I like the author I always wanted to read the original German version. It’s a little difficult as I haven’t read German in a while and occasionally I will need a little extra time to remember a word. It’s a strange sensation to have my reading pace change slightly, but I am enjoying the story. It’s about how mythical creatures exist hidden away from humans and the last group of dragons home is about to be destroyed by humans, so one of the dragons heads off with his kobold friend to find the dragons’ ancestral home. On the way they pick up a homeless human boy who helped them out and he goes on the journey with them.

I did more volunteering at the botanical garden, and it was quite enjoyable. I learned how to take clippings and plant them. The idea is that you peel of the leaves along 1/3 of the stalk and the nip off the top. You also need to scrape away a strip along the bottom with your nail to promote the growth of roots. Before we plant them we also dipped the ends in a compound called clonex, which seals the cut ends and supplies hormones needed for the growth of roots. It’s interesting learning a little bit about the more scientific side of gardening. On the surface it seems so straight forward, you just plant and water them, but there are many aspects to growing a strong plant, and sometimes no matter what you do they can still die.

For a weekend I went to the Blue Mountains with family I’m staying with for the weekend. It’s an extremely stunning area and we did a lot of hiking along the cliffs. I read that the reason they seem to be blue is because of the way the light refracts through all the dust particles floating around. So the further something is the more dust is in your line of sight and the bluer it seems. We also went on the cable cars and on one we were told the aboriginal story of the three sisters, which are three giant rocks sticking up from a cliff. The legend apparently goes there were three beautiful sisters from one tribe and three brothers from another tribe who fell in love with them. The brothers wanted to take the sisters for themselves but the shaman of their tribe turned them into rocks to protect them. However the shaman then died in a battle between the tribes and no one else was able to break the spell over them again.

On our way back from the Blue Mountains we stopped at a high ropes course. It was my first time visiting one so I was pretty excited. We were given a little safety run-through and then left to go wild. I mostly stayed with the ten year old I look after, and on the most difficult course she was allowed to do she got stuck on the end as you have to jump of a ledge with only a pulley to slow your fall. I had a little time to consider what the repercussions of giving her a push would be, mainly losing her trust in me for a couple days or so, before a worker came and dropped her over the edge. It was extremely physically tiring but very exciting.

I was invited to go on a distant relative’s sailboat and had an amazing time. I had no knowledge about sailing before but I learned quite a bit just watching and was even allowed to help, and steered the boat a little on the way back, although with engine going and the sails tucked away. It seems the boat has to travel in a zigzag sort of way, where it follows the wind one way for a bit then they pull the sail to the other side and turn to travel the other way. The trick is to keep the wind at your back, which sounds pretty obvious but seems easier said than done. They used instruments and little ribbons attached to the sail called tell-tales to let them know which way the wind was blowing.

 

Life learning

~ Rowena, 2016 High School Senior

WRA Graduate Reflects on His Life as a Homeschooler

WRA Graduate Reflects on His Life as a Homeschooler

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Eagle McMahon is a Senior at West River Academy. Here he shares his experience homeschooling: how he learned to read, his “Notebook” method of planning his studies, and becoming a professional disc golfer.

Homeschooling has been the greatest gift of my life. Many kids dream of being homeschooled and I have been able to pursue this lifestyle my entire life. It has given me so many opportunities that I would not have had if I had sat in a classroom all day. I have gotten to spend a lot of time with my family, giving me special relationships with my father and grandparents. My father and grandparents are my homeschool teachers. This opportunity has given special perks over the years. For example, this past year I traveled across the USA and competed against the world’s best professional disc golfers.

Homeschooling is based around me being able to structure my studies around my interests and create my own schedule. The main lesson it has taught me is that you do not just learn from school, you learn from everything.

My learning process has always been relaxed and fun. I have never felt pressured or stressed about learning. Because of this, I am calm and confident when I have to take on tasks. I attribute this to my loved ones for being positive and supportive of this lifestyle.

Going way back in my memory as far as I remember, when I first started off as a pre-homeschooler, I had many interests that jump started my education. I was into Legos, Transformers, and trains. I always dove deep into my hobbies and fully engrossed myself in my interests. I would collect every Transformer, know all of their names, and transform them in a flash. A fond memory I have of these early days is when my dad and I built a landscape for my toy trains. It had tunnels, elevation, and bridges for me to put toy train tracks on. One day we spent all day making a train track that went throughout the entire house. I learned to take things to a different level while having fun! My family was always there to help me learn about my interests and support me in any way they could.

During my early years of academics, I remember going to bookstores and picking out school workbooks. Every time I finished a workbook, which was about every six months, we would go back to the bookstore and get the next grade. My father used a method called the “Notebook.” It was a composition book that he used to schedule my school day. My schedule usually included things like; two pages of math, two pages of science, two pages of reading/writing, exercise, goal setting, and organizing. I looked forward to my new tasks every day. Completing these tasks gave me a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. We still use the “Notebook” method to this day, and it is still effective as ever. I plan on using this technique for the rest of my life as my daily to-do lists.

My greatest homeschool experience is when my father took me on a trip to Hawaii. I was nine years old and it was after my mother passed. He claims he used this time for bonding and setting our new life and education in motion. We spent eight weeks of the winter from January through February to get out of the cold winter. We spent five of the eight weeks on Maui and the other three weeks on the Main Island. At the time, I barely knew how to read. One of my father’s main intentions of the trip was to teach me how to read. I spent a lot of time reading and being read to. I remember the first book I read, “Fantastic Mister Fox” by Roald Dahl. It was a perfect first book to read for a nine year old, because it was fun and captivating. We made learning to read fun by reading on beautiful beaches under the sun. Once I got a hang of reading, I read one book after the other, completing four Roald Dahl novels in the next eight weeks.

After the Hawaii experience, I realized how special homeschooling was. My education from ages ten years old to present has been unconventional and different than most others. For one, I have been able to pursue my love for cooking and nutrition. My mother and father have raised me a vegetarian, so food has always been a big thing in my life. My grandmother has always made delicious food and I saw her as an inspiration to cook food myself. Since I was at my grandparent’s house a lot for school, I had the opportunity to cook almost every day. I was a natural in the kitchen, had a knack for spices, and knew how to season food. My grandfather was so impressed with my cooking skills, that he started to ask me to cook instead of my grandmother.

Another passion of mine is buying and selling. At the time, I was really into mountain biking. It was a great way to get out in nature and exercise. However, I enjoyed buying bikes and re-selling them so I could upgrade to a better bike. In the course of one year, I bought and sold nine bikes. The first bike I bought was $200. The first premium bike I bought was $1100 and the last one I bought was a $5000 bike I got for $2500. I used the bike for a year and then re-sold it for more money.

The way I earned the money was by working with my father and buying and selling these bikes on craigslist. I was obsessed with selling items (I still am). I also sold random house hold items and valuable frisbees I collected from playing disc golf. I got very good at dealing with people and negotiating because I was doing it on a daily basis. I have learned through this to buy, sell, trade, and use craigslist which are all valuable things that I will use the rest of my life. These experiences have inspired me so much that I want to pursue a business career.

I am most proud of what I have done in disc golf. Disc golf is like standard golf, except instead of hitting a ball into a hole,you are throwing a frisbee into a suspended metal basket. When I was 9 years old, my father’s friend introduced us to the sport. At first we liked it, but just thought of it as a simple game. The more we played, the more we got involved. We played almost everyday. It was a passion we both shared and I learned a lot on the courses. I learned discipline, focus, patience, and how to control my emotions. This sport is still teaching and helping me grow to this day.

From the time I started playing disc golf up until now, it is still very much a part of my life. I have reached professional status, make money doing it, am ranked one of the top players in the world, and have five sponsors that support my game and my travels. I have traveled all around the United States to compete against the best players. This next year will be bigger and better than ever. I will be going to Sweden and Finland to compete. Disc golf is one of the fastest growing sports in the world and I am fortunate to be in on the ground level. The growth of the sport is creating more opportunities to make money. I won $1545 for winning a state tournament!

I plan to keep pursuing this and possibly get involved with the business and marketing side of the sport. This passion of mine has brought out my adventurous side and has taught me some valuable life skills. I have learned to book my own flights, plan out my finances, and be resourceful without parents around. Now that I am recognized as one of the top players, I have my own YouTube channel and I do my own video blogs of my travel experiences. As a result, I have become interested with film production and photo editing and it is one of my senior courses.In reviewing all these years, I have realized how proud I am of my alternative education. It is a unique way of life that most people do not understand. I have never been in a traditional school setting or classroom. The benefits of being a homeschool student are outstanding. I have learned many important life lessons through every day tasks and living life. My closest friends are my family and they have all taught me so much; from my father exercising with me, my Grandfather teaching me science, my uncle giving computer tips, and my grandmother with everything. I would not change the way I have done anything. My classroom is life, everyday, all the time. Only a homeschooler would know how great it is.

I believe the freedoms that come with Homeschooling have helped me experience more than your traditional student. My classroom one day is in a coffee shop, the next day the library, the next day a hiking trail, the next day a museum, the next day the disc golf course, and the next day Hawaii. School is living my life and pursuing my interest and goals with all my heart. The enjoyment of learning and growing does not have to be a task.

Homeschooling has enabled me to live in a way that allows me to be myself. Although traditional schooling may be good for others, I do not believe it would have been for me. I am forever grateful to my parents for choosing this lifestyle for my education.

The whole homeschooling lifestyle has been the greatest gift my parents have given to me. Now that I am almost ready to graduate and move onto college to start pursuing a career, I believe I have some ideas about what I want to pursue in the future. I am planning on studying business and marketing because of my resourcefulness and talent in dealing deal with people. I would eventually like to own my own business. I have taken inspiration from others who have created that for themselves. It seems like owning your own business closely relates to homeschooling in so many ways. If you are a business owner, you can shape your own schedule, be the boss of yourself, and create what you want.

I am already set up for that lifestyle because of homeschooling. All my experiences over the years from collecting, buying, selling, traveling, being creative, and developing a disc golf following has set me up for something big in the future. If I were to create a business involving disc golf, I feel as if I would already have a mass amount of support and many options. Homeschooling has taught me to set goals and go get what you want and what you need. If I need to learn something or get something done, I know how to go about doing it.

I have many goals I want to achieve this year and beyond. As a homeschooler, I have been taught that there are no boundaries and that you are allowed to think outside the box. 

Humans are capable of great things and all it takes is persistence and the ability to follow your dreams. I want to live a very prosperous life full of happiness and confidence. I expect to achieve that because of who I am as a person. Everything that I have learned and my experiences have taught me that with passion and hard work anything can be done. If I have the right mindset, I believe I can do anything.” 

eagle mcmahon interview 300x188

Homeschooling Teen Shares His Story

Homeschooling Teen Shares His Story

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This essay was written by a high school senior who was homeschooled for his whole life. Homeschooling gave him the opportunity to pursue several interests and volunteer within his community. Here are excerpts from his essay.

Hi, my name is Connor Maricle. I have been homeschooled all my life for which I am grateful. While it is not perfect, homeschooling has helped me with time-management, allowed me to study at my own pace, and has given me time for other activities such as martial arts, archery, 4-H, volunteering, and working. Through these activities I have learned various skills which cannot easily be acquired in a classroom. Although I have not had as many teachers as other students in public school, there have been people who have helped me to learn through active involvement in community organizations. Some examples of people who have contributed to my education are my martial arts instructors, archery instructors, 4-H leaders, food bank employees, and work supervisor.

Homeschooling has been a positive experience allowing me the flexibility to meet my personal goals, learn interesting subjects at my own pace, and contribute to our community. As a young child I remember doing various games, projects, experiments, and activities that provided a solid foundation in the basics of reading, writing, history, math, and science in interesting and fun ways. I had time for reading and playing every day which I believe helped contribute to my imagination and creativity today.

As the years have gone by I have had the opportunity to study quite a variety of interesting subjects. While some subjects have been more enjoyable than others I have still learned an extensive amount through being homeschooled. I have not gone to a public school, but I have talked to others who have attended, and there seems to be more pressure there than being homeschooled. Homeschooling has allowed me to have plenty of time for independent studyI learn faster by doing rather than by reading, writing, or memorizing. If I am enjoying a topic I learn even faster. As such, I tend to learn more through independent study than from learning through a textbook.

Connor Martialarts 150x150Martial arts has helped me learn many things as well: from balance and a bit of Korean, to morals such as honesty and integrity. The martial art I am learning is Tang Soo Do. The people at the studio are all really nice and excellent instructors willing to help someone who wants to learn. Tang Soo Do is an important part of my life, and I plan on continuing it as long as possible. The atmosphere of encouragement and support from those at the studio is unique in the Tang Soo Do community, and is something I carry inside of me even when I am not there. I hope to some day pass on the traditions of Tan Soo Do. Through Tang Soo Do I have been able to improve my leadership skills by leading the students in various warm-up exercises and by helping some of the lower-ranked students improve their forms and techniques. This has also helped me to gain more confidence in myself.

While Tang Soo Do is important to me it was not my first extra-curricular activity. I was about ten years old when I started archery which taught me more than just how to shoot an arrow. From my instructor I learned the importance of cross-training, the responsibility that comes with a weapon, that a person needs to take everything into account when shooting at a target, and that bows and arrows are not toys. Archery was one of the first incredibly difficult things I tried to learn.

From this experience I learned firsthand that it takes time and diligence to get good at something. Many of my classmates dropped out, and once in a while I thought about dropping out as well. I decided to continue and challenge myself to improve. Eventually the school I went to closed, and I took a break before I started lessons again at a new place. I was very rusty at first because even though I had taken archery lessons for four years, my one-year break had dulled my skills. Once I got back in the swing of things I became the best in my class. It was at that point I saw the pay-off from all the effort I had put into archery. While I did feel extremely proud, I believe some of my classmates may have felt discouraged by my “unusual improvement  rate”. Overall, archery was an enjoyable sport for me. I’m glad I did it even though I don’t plan on using it in daily life.

Connor 4HI was eleven when I started 4-H. At first I wasn’t sure whether I would like it or not because it seemed more like an activity my sister would enjoy. After the first few years, though, I started to really enjoy 4-H. Although our club wasn’t very big I still met quite a few people and had numerous opportunities to participate in community events. During my time in 4-H, I learned a great deal about animals (that was my club’s specialty), volunteer work, and how to work with groups of people. I even got some awards in the process. One of the more difficult things I did in 4-H was volunteer at the fair’s Petting Zoo. While it was frustrating at the time because of the high number of young kids, looking back on it I felt it was enjoyable and quite a learning experience in crowd-control and keeping the cavies (guinea pigs) safe. The animals I raised were cavies. Many people in the club had rabbits, cavies, and poultry (chickens, ducks, and turkeys). I had two cavies. Though other people in the club had more animals, I still learned the responsibility of animal ownership. I was also able to participate in fun community service projects through our club, such as: making no-sew fleece blankets for a children’s shelter, designing cards for soldiers, making holiday cookies for the fire department, and sharing my cavies with children at petting zoos.

I also learned more about responsibility and leadership skills by being an officer in our club for several years. Our club members were talented people, so I was able to learn important information about a variety of topics. Even though our club was small our district was large, so I had various opportunities to learn from and interact with several knowledgeable and energetic leaders from other clubs.

Shortly after joining 4-H I started volunteering at the Fairbanks Community Food Bank which was my first “real” job. I have done a variety of tasks at the food bank, such as: sorted canned goods, sorted bread, prepared food boxes, boxed produce and meat, and packaged butter, flour, rice, and sugar. It was tedious at times, but also fun. It was also a good learning experience for me. I learned about defects in canned goods, various types of meat, how to set up and manage a short-term or long-term project, and that no matter how damaged something looks in the store it is much better than what may be available at the food bank

I am glad that I was homeschooled as it has given me many opportunities for growth and development while still having time for other things that I enjoy. Because of homeschooling I was able to do activities I wouldn’t normally have had time to do. As a result, I met many great people who helped me become who I am today. While I don’t know what the future holds, I feel that I am prepared to start the next part of my life. I am looking forward to future opportunities to make positive contributions to my community.

Reflections on the 10th Grade: Mom’s Point of View

Reflections on the 10th Grade: Mom’s Point of View

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It’s so rewarding for us to hear the stories of our families who have gained freedom and joy in their lives by getting free of the school system. Read on for a moving story from this mother about how her son went from being an angry teenager to an engaged, alive person pursuing several passions. In a separate post, we have shared the son’s reflections of his experience in school, and the difference since he has started homeschooling. ~ Peggy & Karen

Deciding to homeschool/unschool has been an incredible decision for our whole family. After a very rocky 9th grade year, we went into the 10th grade year with an agreement (from all of us) that we would not have a repeat of the 9th grade. We briefly discussed homeschooling, but my son made a decision that he wanted to try school again for the 10th grade. I think he wanted to be with his friends, and I think there was some hope that things would be better. By mid-year of the 10th grade in public school, though, my son was a shell of his former self. Moody, angry, irritable, reactive… those are words that could be used to describe all of us! We were all exhausted and traumatized by the constant battle to get school work done. As parents, we were getting scary e-mails and phone calls from the school, and the expectation was that we better do something about our kid – and fast! The threat was that if we didn’t, we risked letting our son fall through the cracks, only to become a teenaged failure. This was horrifying to us, and we didn’t understand what was happening with our son. I am sure the pressure was even worse for our him! Our bright, observant, thoughtful kid was miserable, and every time we talked to him about school, he became deeply defensive and angry. We couldn’t figure out what was wrong, and neither could he. Ultimately, my husband and I decided that our relationship with our son was more important than his grades.

Even though we were getting a lot of scary stuff from the schools, we made a difficult decision to let him succeed or fail on his own terms. This was really hard, but ultimately, it helped us to make choices that would lead us home.

Even though we had decided to back off and not take on so much of the pressure we were getting from the e-mails, robo-calls, and messages from school counselors, we all still struggled. It was painful to watch my beloved son struggling every day with going to this place that obviously made him feel terrible! I tried enlisting help from all of our son’s teachers, and only got a response from 3 of them. I think his teachers cared, but I also think they had a huge amount of work in front of them, and our quietly failing boy in the back row (who they barely remembered) was not high on their list. This was very stressful, and we were not perfect in our resolve to let our son fail. We struggled with our own fear and panic. Would our son be OK? Would he ever have the chance for a full life? Was he throwing away his opportunities for success in the world? And, even more importantly, why wasn’t he happy? Why was he struggling so much? He couldn’t articulate this, and the more we asked, the more frustrated he became with us. We had to really work to back off. It took us a long time to let go, but when we finally did, it was a watershed moment.

p.txtI picked my son up from rock climbing on a Wednesday just before he finished out the fall semester. “Vinnie,” I said, “It looks like you are going to fail some of your classes. Dad can probably help you figure out how to pass them, if you want. But, more importantly, I want you to know that there are other ways to become an educated person. Maybe this way isn’t working for you. There are other options for you. I don’t know what is happening for you at school, but we can do things differently. If you want to talk with me about options, we can get some dinner and talk.” To my complete surprise, my son started talking. He admitted that he was about to fail, and talked about how even though he was interested in the subject matter, he just couldn’t bring himself to comply with the assigned work. He described how the work felt arbitrary, and how he felt insulted by the “busywork” of school. He didn’t want to do the things they wanted him to do. I told him that we could consider a variety of options, and that we as a family would take the winter break to decide what would be the best option for our son.

From that moment forward, I finally felt like the mother I have always been. I remembered that my son’s life is HIS life. He doesn’t belong to the schools, and neither do we as his parents. His school’s structure is set up to warehouse hundreds of kids and make sure they all meet big external standards as a group. This has never been what education has meant to us as a family. What we value is freedom and joy in learning. We believe that learning is and should be fun, and that  becoming educated means you have your head on your shoulders and can examine the world and your life consciously and critically. Being educated means you know how to get the information you want and need when you want and need it. It is about being able to take in information, process that information thoughtfully, and communicate about it effectively. It is about being able to deepen as a human being, from a well-informed place, so that you can live a full, exciting, passionate life of your own creation.

By the end of the winter break, my son informed me that he had decided to homeschool. This was the day before school was supposed to start for the spring semester. Vinnie told me that he was concerned about losing touch with his friends, so we decided that he would go to school, get as many numbers as possible, and make sure he felt good about this decision to homeschool. When I talked to him after school the next day, my son had cleaned out his locker and made his final decision. The relief was absolutely palpable.

Over these last few months, my son has gone from an angry, unreachable teen to an engaged, alive person. He is reading again, with as much voraciousness as he did when he was younger. He has rested and recovered. He has sought out the things he wants to learn. He started taking online computer programming courses and has found a college degree program he’d like to get into some day. He traveled across the US for a month with my Mom and sister. He got to drive a tractor and feed the goats and donkeys and chickens on their farm property in Texas. He learned to scuba dive, and he is learning to drive. He joined the varsity rock climbing team and is able to climb three days a week. He got interested in social justice and race relations, so we watched movies about civil rights leaders, read news articles, and had discussions about Ferguson and the Black Lives Matter movement. He spent time snowboarding in the mountains, and skateboarding to Dairy Queen. He is exploring what it means to be a friend, and what it means to say no to people who drag him down. He is owning who he is, and taking responsibility for being an educated person in his own, shining, unique way. He is becoming himself, in the best way possible.

Of course, we are not without struggles now. We still have to work on letting go, and he still has to work on taking responsibility for himself. But this is now in the spirit of joy and freedom and growth, rather than pressure and threat and fear. This is healthy and challenging, rather than traumatizing and terrifying. I am so grateful every day that we made this decision to take back the power in our lives. I am grateful that we could let go enough to see that there really are options and possibilities in this life. We are not at the mercy of the system, even though it can feel like it when you’re in the middle of it.

Pursuing a Passion-driven Life

Pursuing a Passion-driven Life

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2015 West River Academy High School Graduate, Chris Bones, exemplifies a life of pursuing passion.

In an interview with Entertainment Scoop’s Vivian Adaobi, he answers her question on what drives him with one word: Passion.

“Without passion, I would have quit a long time ago” he says.  “I wake up early, I go to sleep late, I work and I have fun while I do it! Because, that’s passion.” (Ent Scoop, 4/16/2015; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN5G_8LzkeM

He’s been pursuing that passion since he was young. His first experience was acting in a musical theater show at 6 years old. Ignited by the passion of acting, at age 9 he moved from Tulsa, Oklahoma to New York City to pursue a professional career in acting. While there, he played a role on Emmy Award winning daytime television show “One Life to Live”.

A few years later, in 2009, he followed his love of music to Los Angeles to launch his career as a recording artist. In April 2015 he did his first tour, touring with High School Nation. To see him in action on stage, doing what he loves best, check out his YouTube video “Chris Bones – Live on Tour!” here; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ5ZOpOjMHY.

To get a taste of his musical talent, watch his covers of Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXfDxQNytUM and Jealous by Nick Jonas at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kILsV96_WY

He is currently working on his first original album, due out this summer. Watch for its release by following his Twitter channel (@thechrisbones) and Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/chrisbonesmusic?_rdr

Congratulations to Chris on graduating from West River Academy! We look forward to seeing where his passion leads him to next!

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